


Don’t Look Back

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Protective Poe Dameron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24259153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben makes a different choice after the Temple.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Don’t Look Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MidgardianNerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: For MidgardianNerd, who needed this. I hope you like it!

The _Grimtaash_ came out of hyperspace right then and there, landing on Yavin IV. It was taking in the jungles that made up most of the planet, the Force Sensitive tree that Kes and Shara planted, that Ben realized that this was the first time in a while he’d been there. He hadn’t been here...stars, for quite some time. 

How long had it been? It seemed the years blurred together. 

Ben got out of the _Grimtaash_ then, instructing GeeGee to stay with the ship. Even walking on Yavin’s ground, Ben looked around, feeling the air humming around him, full of the Force. 

It was something that he was glad for, being here on Yavin. To find Poe. It would have been easy to go to Snoke, but after everything, Ben wasn’t about to make a bad future happen. 

He wasn’t about to prove his uncle right. 

It was still painful. Remembering how he had woken up, feeling something was wrong, only to see his uncle’s lightsaber ignited. Brilliant green. The horrible realization that his uncle thought he was a monster, and later, that Voe, Tai and Hennix thought he was a monster. 

He didn’t want to think about it too hard. 

He headed towards Poe’s house. He knew that Poe had gotten this place to himself at twenty-one. Now, Poe was twenty-six, and as he knocked on the door, he wondered if Poe would be accidentally put in danger as a result. 

He didn’t want to think about it. Luke going after Poe — somehow, he didn’t want to call Luke his uncle anymore. Family didn’t try to kill you...unless you —

Ben knocked on Poe’s door. Poe answered it, and Ben noticed that he was rumpled — clad in pajamas, his hair a mess. 

”Ben,” he said, “Are you okay?”

”I had to see you,” Ben said. “I couldn’t...” And even spilling his story to Poe, he swore that his voice was shaking all the while. 

Poe hugged him. There was something about feeling Poe’s arms around him that made Ben feel, even after all that happened, like he was home. Like he was okay.

”Stars, Ben,” Poe said. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe he did that to you. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

”Is there?” Ben murmured even as he buried his face in Poe’s shoulder. 

”Nothing,” Poe said. “It was him. It was all him. I’m so sorry...” He drew away from Ben, and Ben was struck by the fierce protectiveness and faith in Poe’s eyes. “I don’t know where you’re going next, but I’m going with you.”

”Poe,” Ben said, “You...you don’t know what you’re saying.”

”I made a promise a long time ago, and I’m not gonna leave you,” Poe said. Then, “It just depends on where we go. Whether we go to the Outer Rim or...anywhere.”

Ben smiled. “Next stop, anywhere,” he said.

***  
It was in the same room that Ben said, “Sometimes I think it was my fault.”

Poe said, “Don’t say that.”

”I kept hearing voices. Seeing visions. And...” He couldn’t finish his sentence. Telling Poe that in his nightmares, he saw Poe screaming again and again. 

"That’s not your fault,” Poe said. “Master Skywalker doesn’t see you. Or know you. He doesn’t know what it means to be a Jedi either. What it means to redeem someone. Just because he thinks compassion is for those who deserve it doesn’t mean it’s true.” A beat. “He saved Vader. Apparently. And Vader did worse things than just having some bad dreams.”

”I suppose.”

Poe reached out, touched his hand. “Ben,” he said, “I love you.” It was the first time he said it, and Ben supposed he should have known. After all, Poe was willing to see the best in him, even at his worst. “I think I knew when you were willing to persuade me to come back. From Kijimi.”

”Of course. You’re a good person, Poe.”

”And even when I was struggling to fit back in, you had faith in me. You saw the best of me, the worst — and you loved both parts.” Poe sighed. “If you can see the good in a former spice runner...let me see the good in you.”

Ben swallowed. “I...” He paused. “Does it need to be said? That I love you? I thought it was obvious. How I acted.”

Poe’s smile was brilliant in that moment. Like a burning sun. Or a shooting star. And when he kissed Ben, Ben could swear that the broken pieces of his heart were already healing. 

Maybe he was selfish. But he couldn’t say he felt safer than just being loved by Poe. 

They broke away in that moment, Ben feeling the imprint of Poe’s kiss on his lips. He was reeling — reeling but happy. 

”We should leave,” he said. “Next stop, anywhere.”

***

The ship was in hyperspace when Poe and Ben lay down together in the same bed. Poe was asleep, his eyelashes contrasting against his golden bronze skin, his black curls fanned out around his face. Ben didn’t know how he was so lucky to have Poe, to know Poe loved his Light and his Dark all the same, but here he was.

He lay down next to Poe, feeling calmed, cooled, just by the man beside him. A man he’d do anything for, and who’d do anything for him.

He didn’t know what would happen. Where they would go, what they would do. It would be worth it, though, having Poe by his side. 


End file.
